Moving Day

Teens Can Cope With Family Relocation

By Teri Brown

Moving a child is never easy and the problems of doing so only increase with age. Just ask any teenager who moved from one school to another. For many reasons, teens prefer to stay put and when they have to move, they may make life difficult for parents and siblings. The good news is that by keeping a few things in mind, the move can be a positive experience – for everyone.

Friends are possibly the most important thing in a teen's life. No matter how volatile these relationships may be, they still count for a great deal of a teen's time and energy. Kelly Croslis of Whitehall, Pa., found this out when she told her teens that they were moving from the place they had lived for four years. The navy family moved many times when the children were younger, but this time was different. "The girls were not happy about it, but we told them it would be good to be back around family and it would be our final move since their dad was retiring from service," she says.

Steven Atkins, psychologist and school consultant from Lebanon, N.H., believes that teens have a good reason for their initial anger. "Imagine striving to develop peer relationships and to understand the subtle rules associated with friendships and going to school," he says. "Moving into adolescence, we all are wrestling with understanding the rules. Then suddenly you are asked to move, often without a vote ... due to parents' needs."

Trying to fit into a new school, learning a new set of rules and a new way to blend in is frustrating to the teen who wants to be both an independent individual and yet still fly under the radar of peer scrutiny. No wonder many teens look at moving as a crisis of epic proportions!

Debra Gilbert Rosenberg, a licensed clinical social worker and author of the book, Motherhood Without Guilt: Being the Best Mom You Can Be and Feeling Great About It

Want to see more?

• Too Tense: 7 Things Parents Can Do to Help an Anxious Child
• The New School Blues: Helping Your Preteen Be the New Kid
• When a Friend Moves Away
• Talk about it!