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Angry Emotions

Your Child's and Yours

By Elizabeth Pantley

3. Don't hit. If your anger causes you to strike out at your child, you'll need to learn ways to control your outburst. A creative solution is to channel your physical reaction into a burst of applause! Seriously, when you feel yourself about to strike, simply clap your hands, good and hard and fast, while you express your feelings of anger. Try it now! Pretend you're angry, clap your hands and tell your imaginary child how you feel. You'll find that in addition to releasing your pent-up anger it sends a very clear message to your child.

4. Act – don't react. Take the time to think about the things that make you angry. Put together a list of family rules. Enumerate the consequences for breaking the rules. Communicate clear expectations to your children. Decide in advance what methods of discipline you will use. If you have a plan up front, you'll be less likely to lose control when your children misbehave.

5. Hug 'em. When you find yourself ready to put your hands around your kid and shake him, DO put your hands around him – and love him. Embrace him in a hug. If possible, do this in front of a mirror or reflective window. A few minutes of quiet, while you embrace your child, will often temper your angry feelings with the strong feeling of love between you.