Mind Your Turkey Day Ps and Qs

Encouraging Manners in Your Preschooler

By Marie-Helen Goyetche

It's Thanksgiving Day! Your turkey is in the oven, and your guests will be arriving soon. You're just a little nervous about what impression your child will leave on your guests. Will she say please and thank you? Will napkins be used rather than shirtsleeves? Will you be put in an embarrassing situation – in many embarrassing situations? Maybe you should warn your child?

Talking to her is great, but at this point it just might be too late – too late for your dinner, but not too late for life.

What exactly are manners? If you sat down and asked your child about the meaning of manners, you probably wouldn't understand his explanation. Having manners is a big concept for preschoolers to understand. When asked, here are some answers from preschool children:

"Uh ... ask my mommy. She will tell you," says 3-year-old Laurie.

"Manners ... means ... the magic words," says 4-year-old Alexandra. "My mom always says 'What's the magic word?'"

"... is not to burp when I eat," says 5-year-old Emilien.

Even as children are going from the preschool stage into the school-age stage, it's not an overnight discovery to know and understand what manners are.

The definition of manners is to act in a sociable and acceptable way. It's not just about saying "please" and "thank you." It's a whole way of conduct. You can't expect your child to know and behave in a proper manner at all times. Otherwise our children would be perfect!

Want to see more?

• How to Behave So Your Child Will, Too
• Thanksgiving Fun: Turn a Nature Walk Into Art!
• United We Stand? When Two Parenting Styles Merge
• Talk about it!