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Living Next Door to Batman
Toddlers and Imaginary Friends By Wendy Kelly
My son and I start our day in a fairly boring fashion. We wake up, let the gorillas out, have breakfast and are invited to join our neighbors on a walk. As we approach the group, my son asks me if Batman will be joining us. As it turns out, 4-year-old Ted* is himself today, so Batman doesn't make an appearance.
And we are fairly normal.
Typically, a child will create a companion for himself starting at age 2, but children as young as 18 months will begin to pretend, using a block as a cookie or miming drinking from a cup.
It was once believed that children with imaginary companions were abnormal, insecure, shy. This misinformation came about in part because past studies used "problem" children as a control group -- in one study done in the 1940s, the children interviewed were patients on the Children's Ward of Bellevue Psychiatric Hospital. Is it any wonder, then, that negative reasons emerged for the friend's appearance?
But even as children with imaginary friends were condemned, they also were believed to be more intelligent than average. Both studies have since been debunked: Children with robust imaginations tend to be more outgoing than their less-imaginative peers, and differences in intelligence levels are small enough to be insignificant.
In our case, gorillas first appeared when our son first understood that we would have a new baby in the house. And after he began grappling with toilet training, monkeys -- ones who pooped on the floor -- appeared out of nowhere. This is fairly normal. First or only children will often create a friend when they need one. These are usually social children who are happy to create a playmate when a real one is unavailable.
Down the street, Batman sometimes shows up. Other times, it's Captain Hook or Spiderman. Four-year-old Ted becomes his characters so convincingly that he will not break character for an entire play date. My son often asks with whom we are going to play or if Batman will be there today.
