Corners and Swats or Praise and Pardons?

Discipline for Young Children

By Carma Haley Shoemaker

Parents have many jobs: teacher, cook, maid, counselor, referee -- just to name a few. But, there is one job that takes more time and effort than others: disciplinarian. And as methods of discipline vary, there are many who are more than willing to offer their advice as to how this job can -- and should -- be done.

According to Graciella C. Drew, a dependent care consultant for LifeWorks Strategies in Rockville, Md., parents need to help children control their behavior because they cannot do it by themselves. "Toddlers are not trying to drive their parents crazy, they are simply learning about their environment and their role in it," says Drew. "By constantly trying new things and seeing what reactions they can elicit, children establish their own identity and learn how to function in their world."

One of the more controversial methods of discipline is spanking. According to Drew, spanking does not teach self-control, which is what discipline should do. "(Spanking) teaches a child to react with violence to something they do not approve of," she says. "Parents often misinterpret age appropriate behavior as 'defiance' or 'acting out,' and try to control the behavior through punishment, such as spanking, which simply teaches another acting out behavior in it's place. What the child needs, instead, is guidance and understanding."

Even in the midst of controversy, some parents feel that there is a place and time to use spanking, and they do. "I think spanking can be an effective means of discipline when used appropriately," says Linda Denton, a mom from Ann Arbor, Mich. "It should be one of the last steps in a progressive list of discipline, and should be used only after other methods have failed. But there is a place and a time when spanking is the only way that the importance of a situation is understood."

Want to see more?

• Tantrums Discussion Board
• Just Say No to "No"
• The Do's and Don'ts of Discipline
• Effective Discipline for Toddlers