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No Fair!
Dealing with Toddler Jealousy By Alex Powell
My own son had just turned 2 years old when we had twin girls. Life was turned upside down, and on the many nights when I found myself feeding two infants with one hand and reading a board book to a toddler with the other, I often wondered if wider spacing would have been a better idea.
But in the long run, having children close together may cause fewer jealousy issues than spacing births far apart. Closely spaced children are more likely to become friends and playmates, simply because they have more in common than siblings spaced wide apart. In some cases, "the biggest incentive that an older child has not to clobber the baby is that if he does, he won't have anybody to play with!" says Dr. Hart.
More notably, when siblings are close in age, the care they receive from parents is often similar, and to a small child, that can make it appear more fair. "Twins, as I understand it, really have some tremendous advantages," says Dr. Hart. "Here you have two children who are the same age. They go to bed at the same time, they eat ice cream with the same number of scoops and usually one isn't much bigger than the other. It's very easy to treat them the same, and that makes it appear more equitable."
Finally, keep in mind that young children express themselves very differently than older kids or adults. When measuring jealousy in adults, we tend to judge actions, not thoughts or feelings. But for a small child, his actions are
