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When Relatives Come Bearing Gifts...
and Gifts ... and Gifts By Christina Vercelletto
It started about a week before Christmas last year. Day after day, the doorbell rang. Dresses, dolls and even a sleigh arrived for Olivia Falcone from out-of-state relatives.
On Christmas Eve, Olivia, then 1 year old, went with her parents, Darcy and Jeff, to her grandparents' home. No fewer than 20 gifts awaited her. The next morning, Santa had left six more. Christmas Day was spent with Darcy's family, and Olivia added another dozen presents to her haul. That night, the family dragged back to their Brooklyn, N.Y., home with some gifts still unwrapped.
"There was no way she could digest it all," says Darcy Falcone. "It was overstimulation. She really didn't understand the concept of gift-giving."
"Because they can," says Robert Billingham, an Indiana University associate professor of human development and family studies. "The economy is such that for many parents conspicuous consumption is simply a way of life. They overspend on themselves, and they do the same for their children."
Guilt can also play a factor, say some experts.
"Culturally, we're really instructed to invest emotions in objects. If there's some guilt at not spending enough time with the kids, parents look for a quick fix," says Lee Chasen, director of Kid Esteem in Babylon, N.Y., an organization that develops the emotional health and vitality of families through social skills workshops.
Parents may be tempted to compensate for their perceived failings by buying the kids whatever they want, especially at this time of year.
