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You Deserve a Break Today

New Moms Need Nurturing, Too

By Dorothy Nelson

To be a parent and have personal time may often seem like a contradiction, but it shouldn't. Before having a baby, most people typically spend the better part of their week working. After their day has ended, there's usually an opportunity to unwind.

But after having a baby, the workday really never ends. Whether a full-time, at-home parent or a parent with an outside career, time becomes very limited and sometimes non-existent. What parents often forget when nurturing their infant is that they need time to nurture themselves. Parents need time to smell the roses and do that special something that eases their minds, makes them feel relaxed and refreshes them body, mind and soul.

Susan Bartell, a psychologist in Washington, N.Y., and director of www.havinganotherbaby.com, says that time alone gives "new parents the opportunity to hang onto their individuality, time to think about themselves and not lose that important inner sense of who they were as an individual and a woman before they became a mother."

During a baby's first few months, it can be difficult to plan any free time. Your infant is busy trying to adapt to eating, sleeping and spending time with you in his new surroundings. Baby's needs are usually unpredictable at any given time during the first one to three months. Parents may get out for dinner once in a while, but typically, moms stay close to their little ones. That's why it's important to savor the fleeting moments of quiet time after a new baby arrives. Whether it's reading for an hour, taking a longer-than-usual shower or getting out for a quick cup of coffee, you'll appreciate the quiet and calm these moments bring.

After the first three months of a child's life, it's easier to think about and plan time for yourself. Babies usually have developed a more consistent pattern of behavior, which includes more predictable napping and meal routines. This also can be a time when a woman begins to view her identity in a new way.

Want to see more?

• Marriage Postpartum: Working Through the Rough Spots
• Mommy's Day Out
• The Path to Peace: Meditation for Moms
• Giving Too Much: How to Say "No" – Guilt Free!
• Talk about it!

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