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Prayers and Preteens
Defining Spirituality in the Middle Grades
By Jennifer M. Paquette
"Kids didn't come up with that by themselves, [saying] 'I'm 13. I'm going to drop out of Judaism,'" he says. That message comes straight from parents who, aloud or silently, tell kids, "Just get over this hurdle, and I won't bother you with religion." Rabbi Black reminds parents that to keep children involved, parents have to know about the unique qualities of Jewish people and why it's worthwhile being a Jew. Of course, this advice can apply to any religion.
Many churches are incorporating rituals to introduce preteens to adult spiritual concepts. Browder's church baptizes children as infants, but "reconfirms" them sometime around age 12, offering context impossible with younger children. "[Classes] detail the origins of Christianity and the beginnings of Methodism," she says. It all culminates in a ceremony on Pentecost.
Sunday school or afternoon Hebrew school may never be able to compete with Nintendo or hockey, but maybe it doesn't have to. If the bad news is the negative impact our attitudes can have, the good news is that despite our preteens' growing reliance on friends' opinions, we still matter – probably more than they'd ever admit. "If parents get it, the kids will get it," Rabbi Black says.
"You, the parent, have to walk the walk," says Browder. "God must be important in your life, and your kids have to know that." Despite their tough husks, there are still earnest, sweet souls inside our children, looking to us for answers, for faith and for inspiration that they can carry with them into their teenage years and beyond.
