Dad's Birth Plan

Plan Ahead for a Less Stressful Birth

By Laura Paul

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5

During the labor, men have to be willing to give up their illusion that they can fix every problem, Perrotta says. "Men are fixers," she says. "Birth sometimes hurts. It's not a situation that can be fixed. Just by understanding and being there, holding her hand even though you know she is in pain, is enough.

Offer her fluids so she does not become dehydrated, but remember to encourage her to use the bathroom every hour. Buy magazines and newspapers the day the baby was born, take photographs and keep a journal of the day's events. Don't plan on sleeping unless she is sleeping, Perrotta says.

As far as what not to do, Perrotta discourages talking on the phone, watching the game or chatting with people in the room. "The mom should have the undivided attention," she says. "They should eat but they should not eat in front of Mom. They need something to keep them energized. Moms have hormones and endorphins to keep them going – dads don't."

While it is permissible to slip out for a sandwich in the early stages of labor, the dad should not leave the room for any reason once the woman hits the last stage of labor: transition.

Jerrold Lee Shapiro, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and professor of counseling at Santa Clara University in Santa Clara, Calif., and author of When Men Are Pregnant: Needs and Concerns of Expectant Fathers (Delta, 1993) and Becoming a Father