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Home › Articles › Pregnancy › Dad's Birth Plan

Dad's Birth Plan

Plan Ahead for a Less Stressful Birth

By Laura Paul

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(Springer Publishing Co., 1995), says men have to be fairly insistent about getting into the middle of the birth. "It's so much better than it was," he says. "I don't want to complain, because in the mid '60s, 15 percent of all men expected to be present at the birth of their children. Today 85 percent do. That's a revolution." Shapiro says men who attend the birth are more likely to bond with the infant.

At Home
After Mom and Baby arrive home, Shapiro says men can, of course, bring breakfast in bed or flowers to the woman. However, while gifts are a nice gesture, he says the most important thing is for parents to bond with the baby. Since women are largely in control of the man's access to the baby, men need to exert a bit of their own dominance in a gentle way, he says. "He needs to take care of the child his own way," Shapiro says. "I think that's incredibly important."

Shapiro says to pay attention when the woman is getting tired and take over by holding the baby or playing with the baby. "If she is nursing, that kind of bonding – the baby's feeding – is what she has to do, but that does not mean he can't be with the baby for other things such as changing diapers," he says. "What she needs to do is let them (be together), and some men have to be assertive about it."

Becoming a parent is not an intuitive process for most men. Therefore, dads need time to bond and develop the paternal feeling. During the labor and delivery, dads do all they can to keep the birth plan on track and guard the woman's birth memories. But after the baby is born, the focus should shift to both Mother and Father designing a life together with their child – and good memories are sure to follow.


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