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Emotional Connections

Dads Start the Bonding Process at Day One

By Lisa A. Goldstein

Once the baby is born, the dad must be hands on in all aspects of care. If Mom is nursing and able to express milk into a bottle, Dad should give it. "This way, the baby will associate both Mom and Dad with the smell of milk," says Stein. If formula is used, the father should give it once a day and be willing to do unpleasant tasks like diapers and laundry.

Cuddling with the baby is a great way to bond. "Rock the baby against your chest so the baby gets from you the soothing rhythmic motion that he or she got used to in Mom's womb," Stein says. "Don't begrudge the sleep you lose, as those special nighttime one-on-ones will work for a lifetime of bonding both ways. Your son or daughter already had a chance to get acquainted with Mom during nine months of uterine life. Now he or she needs to get to know you and vice versa

Other ways of bonding include taking the baby for walks and participating in shopping for clothes and toys. Baths can also be special times for father and child.

Stein says it is important to take good care of Mom, as she is the pivotal person. If she feels grateful and loving, he will be inspired to stay in the bonding process.

According to Bridgett Blackburn, a father-child interaction specialist who teaches at Overlake Hospital in Bellevue, Wash., the most important thing a dad can do is to spend time with Baby. Among the activities she suggests are infant massage, taking the little one on errands and talking about them. Listening to music and reading are good, too. "At first your baby just wants to hear your voice," says Blackburn. "You can read the Wall Street Journal."

Want to see more?

• Daddy Play With Me!
• Bonding for Life: Developing That Special Connection With Your Baby
• Workaholics: Penciling Your Family In
• Buying for Baby: Fasten Your Seatbelt!
• Prenatal Panic: When Father Fears He May Not Know Best
• Daddies Do Dishes: Teaching Nongender Roles to Children
• Talk about it!

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