On a Pedestal

Why Mommy Deserves Respect

By I.J. Schecter

Pages: 1 2 3

The moment a son or daughter enters your life, everything changes. Your focus shifts from fantasy pools and weekly pick-up games to diapers and little snaps. What you considered your maximum ability to feel seems like a blip of emotion compared to the intensity with which you want to protect this little creature from pain. And, despite being exhausted, you find it impossible not to stay up to watch your child doing absolutely nothing.

Euphoric though fatherhood is, it's crucial you remember the woman who made the euphoria possible. There's an old saying that the most important thing you can do for your children is to love their mother – and it couldn't be truer. Here are ways you can contribute to a healthy family environment through your behavior toward Mom.

How many times a week do you squeeze your children and gush, "Do you know how much I love you?" Giving Mom the same kind of affection reminds your kids you're in love with her, too.

Due to lack of time combined with steamrolling stress and fatigue, many parents find themselves in what feels more like a business relationship than a romance. Change this by taking a moment now and then to hoist Mom in the air, plant kisses all over her and say to the kids, "Do you know how much I love your mommy?"

If you're lucky you and your partner are lovers and friends, meaning you can tease her about the amount of time it takes her to choose an outfit and she can tease you about the fact that your underwear never seems to make it to the hamper. At the same time, remind yourself that kids' minds are extremely literal, and when they hear you say to Mom, "Nice move, dumb-dumb," after she accidentally breaks a glass, there's a good chance they're going to repeat it or tell a friend or teacher that Daddy thinks Mommy is a dumb-dumb.

No caregiving pair in history has agreed on every parenting call. In fact, given the number of decisions constantly required, you're lucky to go a week without at least once thinking, "That's not how I would have done it." But remember that when Mommy is laying down a certain law, the most counterproductive thing you can do is interrupt.

"When my wife is disciplining one of the kids, I know better than to horn in with, 'Now hold on, let's see what happened here,'" says Joel Monson, father to 6-year-old Bram and 3-year-old twins, Hayley and Madeleine, from Ontario, Canada. "I try to stay on the sidelines and give her the space to handle the situation, so the kids never get the impression that we are not united in our position. If I disagree with how she handled a situation, I will discuss it with her in private afterwards so we can air our views and decide on a unified approach going forward."

Pages: 1 2 3

On a Pedestal

Why Mommy Deserves Respect

By I.J. Schecter

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