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May I Kiss You?
Talk to Your Teen About Date Rape
By Tamekia Reece
When it comes to date rape, daughters often hear, "Don't let it happen to you!" and sons hear, "If she says no, stop." But date rape isn't something someone lets happen, and sometimes a person can say no non-verbally. Before your teen becomes either a victim or victimizer, we're going to help you determine when and how you should discuss date rape.
It's quite easy to think that date rape could never happen to your child or that your sweet kid would never commit this heinous crime against anyone. But before you say never, you should first look at exactly what date rape is and how prevalent it's becoming.
According to Michael Domitrz, author of May I Kiss You? A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect & Sexual Assault Awareness (Awareness Publications, 2003), there are many different versions of date rape, including sex, oral sex, sexual touching, making someone take explicit photos and more, "but the more generally accepted version is a sexual assault that occurs between two acquaintances."
Studies show that nearly one in four young women are sexually assaulted by the age of 18. Of those, about 70 percent knew the attacker. Though the numbers show that date rape is most commonly committed against females, it can happen to both males and females and doesn't matter if they're heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.
Date rape isn't always someone saying "no" to someone's advances with that person continuing on anyway. "If somebody's ignorant about what rape is or what it means, then it's possible that they are not aware that they raped somebody," Domitrz says. "However, that ignorance does not excuse them from the rape." That's why he says communication and asking for permission before doing anything is so important. But unless your child is taught, he'll never know. That's where you come in.
