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Meltdown Moments
Dealing with Preschool Temper Tantrums
By Margaret Risk
Head Off Tantrums Before They Start
A parent knows her child best and can anticipate some situations that might be troublesome. "Being proactive helps," says Whipple. For example, she suggests trying to head off the tantrum by having a quick drink and snack ready for your child before expecting her to get dressed or before you make dinner. But if you can't avoid the meltdown, the AAP recommends these general suggestions:
- Use distraction - Interrupt the behavior by pointing out something or suggesting a new activity. Gentle restraint may be necessary if the child is physically out of control, and sometimes humor can be helpful. Making a silly face or singing a song has worked for some parents.
- Keep calm - It's hard to witness your child's anger, but if you get angry, it's likely to make things worse. If you find yourself becoming angry, leave the room, if possible. Wait a minute or two, or until the crying stops, before returning to your child.
- Ignore minor tantrums - If possible, stand nearby or hold your child until he calms down. Some tantrums cannot be ignored. If the child hits or kicks or in any way hurts anyone, throws things or yells or cries for a prolonged period of time, firm intervention is warranted.
Should You Punish for Tantrums?
The AAP suggests removing the child from the situation. If discipline is called for, try a "time-out." Time-out is a commonly used discipline method for children this age – one minute for each year of the child's age. A 3-year-old would receive a three-minute time-out. Designate a special spot for time-out. If the child will not stay in the spot, you may have to remain there with her.