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Whining Battles
Winning the War on Whining
By Valerie Kasrich O'Berry
When your child whines to watch more television, say, "I can see that you want to watch television, but it's time to go to bed." If the child continues to whine, stand firm. If you give in to his demands because you don't want to listen to him whine, it teaches the child that whining helps him get what he wants.
When working on whining, remember that the younger the child is, the more difficult it is going to be to stop the problem, simply because the child does not understand what whining is.
"Our almost 3-year-old has been whining for about a year," says Darien Stefani of Austin, Texas. "I try to tell her, 'No whining,' but it's been a bit difficult to explain exactly what it is. Still, we do make progress and figure it's just a phase that it seems most children go through and I don't sweat it much."
Also, be conscious of how you respond to your child's whining. Specifically, try to resist the temptation to whine back at the child. "As adults we have to work on communicating wants and desires, too," says Wallace. Parents will often say, "Come ooooon, I toooold you to pick up your toooys," not realizing that they too are whining. However, Wallace says that strategic whining can sometimes be effective in curbing whining. "Deliberately whining back can provide some self-reflection, depending on the age of the child, and show them how bad it sounds," she says.
Kathryn Haley of Riverview, Fla. says her son, Philip, is the king of whiners. "I can tell it's really annoying," she says. Haley says she has found a way to lessen her 4-year-old's whining. "I tell him that he's a 'big boy' now. That usually stops it, because he doesn't want to be seen as a baby anymore."
I Can't Hear You.