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Sharing the Love
Preparing for a Sibling By Heather V. Long
When you have more than one child, you become instantly a mediator, negotiator, referee and judge. Not only do you expand your household, but you expand the circle of love the family shares. Including your children in your decision to adopt is a good way to help them welcome their new sibling. Accepting the differences and letting the children grow to love each other is a natural part of having more than one, no matter how they arrived.
"There are some developmental differences between adoptive children and birth children, and they are often difficult to discern," Hochman says. "As adoptive children grow up, they may grow concerned with issues of abandonment and rejection: Why did my original parent(s) give me up? Identity issues: Who am I? Whom do I look like? Where did I get my musical talent? Children are wired differently, and some are intensely focused on these issues. Others care less. At times of transition, graduations for instance, or when a family tree is a class project, feelings about their adoption may surface. I don't think sibling rivalry is much different from what is in birth families. Creating strong bonds among children is a task that can often be daunting and depends on the children's personalities and how well they mesh together, as well as togetherness in the family and how family holidays are spent."
Families grow together with learning experiences for both children and parents. Sharing the love and respect with your children will show them how to share it with each other. The rest, like life, comes one day at a time.