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My Postpartum Depression Story

One Mom, in Her Own Words

By Kathy Woltman

Seven weeks of Prozac and I was not much better at all. I also didn't think the psychiatrist I was seeing cared or was listening to me. I was keeping a journal of my symptoms and he didn't even seem interested in it. He just kept saying to stick it out awhile longer. Meanwhile, my life as I knew it was gone and I was missing out on my baby's first months. Every single day was a horrible nightmare and a huge struggle. This was the hardest thing I had ever been through and I was 40 years old and had certainly seen heartache and difficulty before. Nothing held a candle compared to this battle.

I decided to seek out another psychiatrist and went to the Depression After Delivery guide to find one who might specialize in PPD. I found one listed, about an hour from my home. I didn't care. I'd make the trip. He took me off of Prozac saying it was a poor choice to give to someone with my anxiety level. However, I also had severe OCD and I now know that only certain antidepressants help OCD and that I should have been put on one of those antidepressants first! He put me on Remeron.

At first, my anxiety level went down ... and I was hopeful. Then, I began to experience depression in the classic sense. I felt very sad and felt like life was stupid and not at all worthwhile. I complained to the doctor and he raised the dose of Remeron. This made me feel very wired and nervous, and also, oddly enough, very angry. I felt a very scary inner rage.

I called him and complained about this. He told me that I hadn't given it long enough – I needed to stay on the drug longer. I waited seven more long days (it had now been one month on the Remern) and felt no better. I called him again and he simply wanted me to stay on it even longer!