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Delivery Room Visitors
Deciding Who Will Attend Your Baby's Birth
By Jessica Williams
Back in the 1950s, doctors and nurses attended the mother in the delivery room, and dads weren't allowed in. Thankfully, times have changed. In the 1990s, fathers are welcome participants in childbirth ... not to mention your mom, sister, best friend and even your older children. Depending on where you plan to deliver and how many people your midwife or obstetrician (OB) allows, you have a decision to make.
Doulas (women who support couples during labor) are becoming increasingly popular, offering a gentle womanly touch during the birth. They help the pregnant couple make decisions and keep comfortable, among other things. The same idea applies to having loved ones present with whom you have a strong bond. They may be able to offer an emotional support system like no other.
Your partner will no doubt offer comfort and love you will depend on, but having another source of reassurance nearby may give you even more strength. Keep your partner's feelings in mind when making your choices. Although you will be the one doing the work, this is a special occasion for your partner as well. He may feel as if he can handle your needs without the support of others. Listen to his feelings, then help him understand that you will still be a team no matter how many people are there to support you. Assure him that he will be your number one helper, if that's his desire.
Sometimes, events occur that call for outside help for both Mom and Dad. When Sarah Klein delivered a stillborn child, her stepmother and father were there to support her and her husband. When her next baby was born, her parents were invited again. "When my parents were there for the birth of our youngest, the sense of completion was overwhelming," Sarah says. "We were a practiced team now, and we had a live baby to look forward to. It brought us that last little bit closer together as a family." Sarah's husband, a member of the U.S. Marine Corps, was scheduled to be deployed right before her due date, so Sarah planned for her dad to be her labor coach. Some women were surprised when Sarah told them her dad would be in the delivery room. "My dad and I have always had a close relationship, and I trust him implicitly," she says. "There was never a sense that he didn't belong there, sharing in this incredibly important moment in my life and my husband's. When my husband thought he would be out of town for the birth, it gave him some relief knowing that I would not be alone, and he trusted in my dad's capabilities as 'mid-husband.'"
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