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Boy Basics 101
A Survival Guide for Parenting Male Tweens
By Kendeyl Johansen
Tilley later finds opportunities to build empathy and understanding; for instance, if her kids are staring at a man with bad hygiene, she points out that he might smell bad because he's too sick to take care of himself or he's poor and doesn't have anywhere to live.
We've all had preteenagers tune out our words, which is why it's especially important to teach by example. "If your son sees that you have self-respect, respect for a partner and high standards, he'll model his behavior on this," says Mike Domitrz, author of May I Kiss You? (Awareness Publications, 2003) and creator of Can I Kiss You?, an interactive program for schools and campuses. "If you treat your tween with great respect and value and your child understands the 'why' behind not getting involved with certain behavior, he will have a real reason for saying 'no' to peer pressure – instead of simply saying 'because my parents say so'."
Preteens are starting to think about inimacy and dating, and it's essential to stress respect for the opposite sex. "Sons need to learn that the only way you can be sure what a girl wants is to 'ask' her," Domitrz says.