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Middle School Blues
Helping Your Preteen Face the Challenges of Junior High
By Sharon Waldrop
On a recent Wednesday afternoon I asked my seventh-grader, "How was school today?" Her response consisted of a 10-minute synopsis of lunchtime antics, hallway romances and jokes that only a 12-year-old would appreciate. My suspicion that she was having too much fun at school was confirmed later that evening when I received a progress report conveniently left for me on my pillow at bedtime.
My former A/B student had an unsatisfactory grade point average in three of her six classes. I immediately picked up the phone to arrange three parent/teacher/student conferences to identify the problem. The first teacher I contacted assured me that my daughter's performance had nothing to do with her learning ability. The problem was that my daughter was now in junior high.
Junior high, or what is called "middle school" in some areas, is a world much different than the structured, hand-holding atmosphere of elementary school. Suddenly, preteens are put into a situation where social skills go beyond taking turns at the tether ball pole. School becomes a fashion show, a popularity contest and a place where adolescents learn the true meaning of a "bad hair day."
Transitioning from elementary school to junior high can be an exciting yet very difficult time for a child, says Lisa Dunning, MFT, a marriage and family therapist who teaches parenting classes in Hermosa Beach, Calif. "Many children have been in their elementary schools for at least five to six years and feel safe and secure. Then, as soon as they feel they are 'rulers' of their school, they move into a bigger school where they are back to being the youngest."