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The Three Rs

Help Your Preteen Relocate, Rearrange and Readjust After a Move

By Sharon Waldrop

Sharon's son enjoyed sports and with each move was enrolled in the sport of the current season through the city's parks and recreation department. Sports helped him make friends in the immediate neighborhood, too, because he blended right in when a game was played down the street.

Sharon's daughters were not involved in sports and were encouraged to invite new acquaintances along for family outings to develop new friendships. New friends in the neighborhood enjoyed being invited over to eat and sleep over.

After a few weeks in a new neighborhood, "we allow the kids to have a party," Sharon says. A BBQ with plenty of soda and snacks is a popular past time for preteens. "The key is to let your kids fill your house with their new friends."

Marsh recommends that parents be patient and understanding of the emotional difficulty preteens experience when separating from their current bonds and starting anew. "Encourage them to keep in touch with their old friends through writing, email or telephone." If possible, arrange for them to visit their friends and school in the past community and invite their friends to visit the new home.

Parents can help by involving their adolescents in the planing stages of the move. "If possible, take the adolescent to visit and explore the new community, perhaps involving them in the decisions of choosing a community, residence and schools," Marsh says.