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Helping Hands
Teaching Your Toddler to Pitch In By Lisa Elliott Diehl
Starting your child out on the right foot is more than seeing to the basics of food, shelter and clothing. It's also making sure they feel like productive members of society.
The first step in helping your child feel like they are contributing is making him or her feel like productive members of your household. Judy Onghai, education specialist for SCORE!, a subsidiary of Kaplan Educational Centers which works to help parents build their children's natural inquisitiveness, says the urge to do good for others is something already present in toddlers. Fostering your child's natural inclination to assist you with household chores is a good first step to building your child's sense of belonging and value, says Onghai.
"Encouraging toddlers to help out people and think for others is enhancing their self-esteem," she says. "They are able to see that what they do brings out a positive response in others."
Toddlers view the world in terms of themselves, and fostering helping behavior helps them slowly learn to relate to others. As they begin to recognize that their actions bring about a reaction in someone else, they begin to realize, "I can make a difference," Onghai says.
"Parents want their children to be productive members of their family, their school and their community," says Dayna Jornsay-Hester, head of community education at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. "By fostering helping behavior, parents are contributing to the development of their child's self-esteem. They are teaching their child they are lovable, capable members of the family."
Feeling lovable and capable are important factors in self-esteem for children as they grow up, Jornsay-Hester says. Every time a child learns to do something new, it is contributing to their self-esteem and their feeling of capability. Basic personal responsibility, another building block in the foundation of feeling competent, also can be learned from helping.