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No Fair!
Dealing with Toddler Jealousy By Alex Powell
his feelings.
Brooke Hadley, a mom from Austin, Texas, thought she had "created a monster" when her oldest child, then a 2-year-old, began hitting, pushing and kicking his 6-month-old brother. "We learned that Skylar was mad at Drew for getting into his trains in his room, and he didn't have the words to express his anger," says Hadley. The behavior resolved once Hadley was able to reassure her child that she would help protect his toys from the baby. "I told him, 'It hurts the baby very badly when you hit. From now on, when he gets your trains, yell for help, and I'll help you.'"
And you don't have to feel like you're cheating by doing this, adds Dr. Hart. "[If you send your kids to the sandbox with the exact same toys], don't tell yourself 'I should've brought one blue one and one green one and made them share,'" she says. "They'll learn sharing somewhere along the way, and you don't have to try to do that with a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. It's more difficult than it needs to be."
Six months after becoming a big brother, Vance's oldest son is warming up to the baby. "Partly, I think, because he has adjusted to the fact that Aubrey is just a fixture in the family now and partly because Aubrey can do more," says Vance. "He can sit up, he can interact. Holton still has his rough spots, but he's doing much better!"