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When Tots Bite
Curbing Toddler Biting
By Judy Molland
One day last year, Jeffrey Marsh, a family therapist, was working in his Los Angeles office with his dads' group. Their children, two and three years old, were playing quietly in the same room, when a loud scream pierced the air. Two-year-old Brittany, frustrated that Evan was playing with the truck she wanted, had decided to bite the little boy.
"She bit him hard and he was crying. The dad was clearly humiliated. He yelled, 'That's bad!' at his daughter, and picked her up, getting ready to leave. But all the other dads chimed in with, 'No, don't go! This is why we're here. Let's talk about it.' It was a great group," says Marsh.
"Young children bite for a number of reasons," explains Heidi Murkoff, co-author of What to Expect -- The Toddler Years (Workman, 1996). "Probably the most common reason is that it is one of the few ways of communicating that's effective for them, before verbal skills are developed." She adds that not all kids bite, and that some choose other forms of communication, such as grabbing, shoving, or punching.
Another reason toddlers bite is to express frustration, a feeling which is very common with toddlers, because both their communication skills and their motor skills are so limited. According to Murkoff, some very young kids bite just because of the response it produces.