Amoung the many challenges facing parents today, keeping your teen safe on the Internet can make even the most computer-savvy parent weary. Finding out where they are going and what they are doing is often difficult with the world literally at their fingertips.

Young Canadians in a Wired World, a recent study conducted by the Media Awareness Network – a not-for-profit organization that supports media education in Canadian homes, schools and communities – shows alarming statistics displaying a substantial discrepancy between how parents see their children using the Internet and what their children are actually doing online. According to the study, parents report that they often talk to their kids about their Internet use, but kids say that they don’t.

Danger Online?
Many youth have their own e-mail accounts – some without parental knowledge. Where parents think their kids are using the Internet prominently for homework, kids say they enjoy the Internet for a wide variety of other activities. Often these children are left unsupervised as they surf the Internet. This can lead them to places online where they can find trouble.

While it may be no surprise to find out that parents and kids have differing opinions, it is alarming to think that your child’s exploration of cyberspace may unknowingly place them in immediate danger. Over half of the teens surveyed for Young Canadians in a Wired World had received pornographic junk mail and the vast majority admitted that they did not tell their parents. The report found that almost one-half of youth in secondary school who were interviewed said someone had made unwanted sexual comments to them on the Internet.

Perhaps the most serious finding relates to actual sexual contact or face-to-face meetings. While only 15 percent of youth surveyed went to meet someone alone, 12 percent of that group said they had a bad experience characterized in a variety of ways. While it is important to note that this represents less than 2 percent of young Internet users, children everywhere are still putting themselves in harm's way.

“These statistics are eye-opening,” says Sylvia Cheuy, a mom from Caledon, Ontario. “It makes you realize that guiding your child through the Internet is an ongoing process. You really need to stay involved; talking to them only once about safety just isn’t enough.”

It appears that teens are doing what they have always done, hanging out with their friends, meeting new friends and listening to music. However, now they can do it from the comforts of home, and the friends they meet could live halfway across the world – but the danger is that they may not be who they say they are.

“For me, the challenge is finding the right balance between giving my teens independence and not being too trusting,” says Maria Parris, a Mississauga mother of three. According to the survey, teens are using the Internet primarily for playing and downloading music, e-mailing friends, surfing for fun, playing and downloading games, instant messaging and chatting in chat rooms. They indicated that they use it for homework least of all, contrary to what their parents believe.

“The Internet is a great place to rebel because it’s a secret world away from parents,” says Cathy Wing, a media Internet education specialist from the Media Awareness Network. “Kids even have their own chatting language that’s impossible for parents to decipher.”

Seven Ways to Build a Net-wise Family (provided by the Media Awareness Network)

1. Educate yourself – learn about the Internet. An excellent resource is the Media Awareness Network (MNET.) It provides advice that parents can use to get more involved. They list various technologies available to help parents restrict access to the Internet. They also offer excellent advice and tools for parents to use when learning and teaching about Internet safety. Some other resources to guide you include: the Internet Content Rating Association, Safekids.com and Canada’s School Net.
2. Talk to your teen. Seventy percent of teens surveyed for Young Canadians in a Wired World say their parents talk to them very little about their Internet use. Finding out where kids are going online – and who they are talking to – is not infringing on privacy but smart parenting. An environment of trust is essential in order to keep the lines of communication open between you and your child. Make sure that your child knows that they can talk to you about anything they encounter online. “Parents need to be involved with their children’s Internet use and have open communication about their online activities,” says Wing.
3. Establish rules. Be clear with your child about what they should and should not do on the Internet. The Media Awareness Network Web site provides online house rules that can be used to encourage Internet safety with your child. “Create a set of rules that clearly defines safe and responsible use for the family,” says Wing. “As kids get older, and if they follow the rules, they can gain more freedom online.”
4. Interview your Internet service provider (ISP). According to the federal government’s Guide to Safe Internet Use, most ISPs have implemented a variety of practices to help their customers have a safe Internet experience. They provide information on Internet safety, operating complaint lines and filtering software.
5. Report all suspicious and criminal sites. Don’t know where you can complain about inappropriate material on the Internet? ChildFind Manitoba started a Canadian Cybertip line. You can call the tip line toll free at 1-866-658-9022, or you can visit them online. The Media Awareness Network Web site provides information on the tip line and encourages all Internet users to report any information regarding incidents of child pornography, luring, child sex-tourism or child prostitution. Call the local RCMP or police force in your area to report a crime. Computer crime investigators of the RCMP are located in all major centres across Canada. They focus on solving computer-assisted crimes, including the distribution of child pornography on the Internet.
6. Use technology. There are several programs available that will help you filter your child’s use of the Internet. Products such as Net Shepherd, RSACi and SafeSurf will allow your child to only access sites rated as “child friendly.” The Media Awareness Network also provides a list of available technology to assist parents with filtering.
7. Take heart – “You are not alone. Web Awareness: Knowing the Issues, a program designed by the Media Awareness Network for parents, teachers, librarians and community leaders is designed to equip them to help youth develop the lifelong critical thinking skills they require to become safe, wise and responsible users of the Internet,” says Wing.

Feeling overwhelmed? Remember this – the Internet is a fabulous tool, but just like any other aspect of life, it needs to be managed. When children are given access to such a powerful tool, they need to be educated and monitored.

While the Internet may present new challenges, monitoring its use really comes down to the basics of good parenting – stay involved. Teach your child about their rights, let them explore, but be available when they have questions or run into problems.

For additional information visit the following sites:

• Media Awareness Network Web Awareness: Knowing the Issues
• Live WWWires
• Industry Canada

Want to see more?

• A Wangled, Wired Web: What You Need to Know About Online Cheating
• Keeping Tabs on Your Teen
• Privacy and Parenting: Where Do You Draw the Line?
• Talk about it!